When You Don’t Get Your Way For The Holidays

by | Nov 1, 2017 | Circumstances, Emotions Management, Relationships with Family

It’s so easy to get disappointed when plans for the holidays don’t match up to the ones you dream about in your head. But sometimes those feelings can stifle your creativity, preventing you from producing solutions that would enable you to enjoy these special events in a fresh way.

Scenario One. There’s a change in your family dynamic, such as someone gets married or the kids reach a new age and stage. Now there are more people to consider and some of them even get taken away from you on your special day. It doesn’t matter which day you celebrate a holiday; after all, goodness and mercy follow you every day (Ps. 23:6). Even if you have to wait until January to get everyone together, it’s okay. You can cook the same foods, play the same music, and maintain your traditions whenever everyone is available.

Scenario Two. A family member who has more power in the family hierarchy than you do determines how the holidays will be spent. The way she’s got it planned doesn’t even feel like the holiday to you. If you rise up and purpose to honor her wishes on this day (Phil 2:3-4), you can designate a different day to enjoy yourself according to your desires. You’ll be greatly blessed if you sacrifice your wants on that day for others. But don’t try to love in this grand way in your own strength. Ask the Lord to flow His love through you so you can be a cheerful giver (2 Cor. 9:7).

Scenario Three. Circumstances are such that you can’t be with family when it seems that everyone else in the entire country is with family that day. Maybe you can’t afford to travel or just don’t have much family. You’re in a unique advantage where you can be used by God on a holiday to serve others who are even worse off than you (Mt. 25:40). When you fall asleep on a holiday night after spending the day ministering to others in a shelter or hospital, you’ll have a kind of fulfillment that will rival the best, largest family party around.

Have a different scenario? Challenge yourself. See what great solution you can come up with when you aren’t letting emotions cloud good thinking. Then before you know it, the Lord will guide you into something better than you ever imagined (Eph. 3:20).

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I am a Board Certified Christian Counselor by the Georgia Board of Examiners for Christian Counselors & Therapists.

I am also a member of the Association of Biblical Counselors (ABC) and receive continuing education from the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF).

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