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4 Reasons Abstaining from Pre-marital Sex is So Romantic

You know there’s benefits to waiting for marriage to have sex, but you sort of forgot what they are. People ask you to defend your position, but you stumble over what to say. The noisy, promiscuous messages all around you have drowned out His quiet, still voice beckoning you to focus on His very special and glorious creation of sexual intimacy within marriage.

Biblical (Romantic) Starting Point:  

  1. The whole idea is very poetic. You were made to be a separate individual for a time, and then with marriage you’re brought together as one. The two shall become one flesh…So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” (Mk.10:8)
  2. You are not doomed to a lonesome existence. Unless you are called to and equipped for celibacy, you have always belonged to one member of the opposite sex. “My beloved is mine, and I am his.” (Song of Solomon 2:16)
  3. Husbands and wives earn rights to share each other’s anatomy. Every time you keep your body covered from anyone who is not your spouse, you are protecting it to be cherished by your life-long lover. “The wife does not have exclusive authority over her own body, but the husband shares with her; and likewise the husband does not have exclusive authority over his body, but the wife shares with him.” (1 Cor. 7:4)
  4. It’s not overrated and it does feel amazing. The bedroom of a married couple can be a happening and holy place. “Let marriage be held in honor and keep the marriage bed pure.” (Heb. 13:4)

Keeping Room Tips:

  • Focus on your individual role as half of the “two.” If you attempt to become “one” with another before you are fully developed as an individual (something that is best determined by godly counsel), you will take on too much of the other person. Co-dependency, a true romance killer, can happen either before or during marriage if the timing of becoming “one” isn’t carefully considered.
  • Remember that just because you haven’t met, doesn’t mean you don’t already have a spouse. Giving your heart and body to someone to whom you aren’t married causes you to forget you are already spoken for by someone who is meant to love you until death separates you. If he or she is deserving to be your mate for life, isn’t she or he worth waiting for now? Isn’t this worth dreaming about until the right time?
  • Have fun with modesty and training your body now for future affection. Your body’s co-owner will thank you for it when you’re first married, and later, will take care of your shared body into old age, too. This is true passion.
  • Choose to believe that married sex is where it’s at. The entertainment world can’t mimic it, and no matter how close you feel to someone you are dating, there is nothing cozier than such marital coming together that it even reflects Christ and His Bride. (Eph. 6:32)

Should you be more affectionate, and if so, why?

The abundance of careless affection found in today’s society can lead many Christians to feel uncomfortable with Paul’s instruction to greet brothers and sisters with a holy kiss (1 Cor. 16:20). However, this Biblical principle invites you to examine and recalibrate affection in your life. A perfect way to begin is to visualize yourself in Jerusalem 2,000 years ago:

You see an unattractive, unpopular, outcast of a Man who has been slapped and struck repeatedly. Can you bring yourself to approach him and start to treat and maybe even give a holy kiss to His wounds? Then you see that He’s bound and surrounded by angry men who start to viciously flog Him. You’re horrified but it only gets worse when they put a crown of thorns on His head, mock Him, spit on Him, and strike Him brutally on the head. They’ve caused so much damage and pain to His body that you don’t understand how He could have survived to this point.  However, not only is He still breathing but He carried His own heavy wooden cross up hill. You want to run as far away as you can, but you’re frozen in place and don’t even know how much time has passed before you hear Him say, “It is finished.” At that moment, the ground starts shaking and someone starts yelling that the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom and then you know – He endured all of that just to save you. And now all you want to do is run to Him. (Is. 53, Mt. 26-27, Jn. 19).

Keeping Room Tips:

2000 years ago you weren’t around to affectionately comfort the Man of Sorrows, the One so familiar with suffering (Is. 53:3); yet He gave you a way to touch Him anyway: “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Mt. 25:40). This Holy Week, as you are feeling freshly aware of your afflicted Savior, consider those who receive your affection – when, why, and how. Do you know someone who needs a holy kiss? Show Him grateful affection by offering pure affection to one of the ones He suffered to save.